Working life.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
I don't want to continue down this road, I feel my face becoming more and more set in a facial expression of constant anger and "disgruntleness". It hurts me to experience this change. I feel my pride taking a hit as my work gets reprimanded as being too much work. Simple will do, well it hurts the pride of any designer when you don't want to see great work either. I've been conditioned to do my best in what I do but if this is what the working world expects of me, I don't think this is going to foster the amount of creativity I need to help me grow as an artist in some sense of the word.
I don't mind working but NOT for a company does not encourage creativity growth or freedom. I need these in order to produce better pieces of quality. People are selfish and only want what is best for themselves. There is a air of competition and linearity in this smog, nobody should ever step out the line lest the company motto is threatened. Co-workers commune with each other to help further their own ideas and agendas in the company, everyone seems to be less and less personal. So many masks around.
I'm always late, I'll give you that. I understand I have a problem with tardiness and I'm working on fixing this.
But I do not believe that I will gain anything useful of this endeavour unless it's about office politics and social behaviour in said environment.
Goodbye.
9:32 am
Y Y Y
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Every time that door opens, the wind rushes in, as if to escape the burgeoning winter cold. I shiver as the wind funnels into the car flowing from the front before flowing to the backseat and settling. Almost immediately a smell reminiscent of freshly done laundry wafts in my car tickling my nose. The scent becoming more heady as the owner starts to make his way into the car, seating himself casually while hissing from the cold outside which his scarf is not helping much to keep at bay. The smell almost becomes intoxicating when the car door closes. It takes a lot of effort to pretend not to notice.
It's so toxicating that I reach for my blanket, lifting it up to my nose. Inhaling deeply, eyes closed dreaming that it somehow becomes your scent on the soft threads. But all I smell is that of my own waking me up from my dream state. Away from the warmth of strong arms and protection.
Protection that I will only muster from myself.
I need to stop getting attracted to his smell and personality. I've seen the other side of him and I don't know if I can handle such a beautiful beast. A beast will always have his beauty and he already has a whole line of them waiting.
Y Y Y
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I love all these owl city dreams I'm having. :D Someone's been reading my blog and it's not a bad thing. ;D
Let me recall the other one I had, I think it was on friday from week before or before before. I think it was last week monday.
Apparently, I had landed back in Singapore. I see myself coming out of the airport, being brought home. I was complaining why did I come back while I was out with my sister and mom at some shopping centre. I see someone darting around at the corner of my eye and I go,"Is that who I think it is?" I run after that person and then "boo!" him and he is Adam Young! He gets a little shock but then he picks up a pen and starts to write on what seems to be a piece of paper and I interject with telling him, it's Gen. (It seems like it was a catch and get a autograph game.). I start gushing and telling how it was so awesome that I manage to see him in real life and just smile. After he hands me the paper, he looks at me and then says very shyly, " I'm not supposed to say this but there is a dinner tonight and then I think he wants to invite me to go but I'll never know because I got woken up by the guys outside making pancakes for pancake friday. Bah.... Who knows what could have happened.
Next dream wasn't anything special he just poped up in tv comercial or something just the person. This was this morning blah.
Y Y Y
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
You expect me to open to you because I seem to you like I'm quiet. Well, since the day I was left to the care of my maid and then as a child learnt to take care of myself emotionally because mom and day were busy with work. I don't think I'm going to get anything out of this anymore. I've already learnt to look for love elsewhere. It's not going to change something that was built over 12 years of growing up.
Y Y Y
Saturday, April 02, 2011
I woke up this morning with the best feeling today. I saw adam young in my dreams. Mr Owl city/Port blue. It was such a great feeeling. I don't remember much now unfortunately. But even remembering it was so romantic. In my dreams he was so sweet and quiet. The first scene I remember is when we're in a van and we're seated next to each other and I'm squeezed between him and the window of the vehicle. We're justing sitting along and ask him why he's not coming to singapore. He gives me a reply that I can't really hear more likely though I probably forgot what he said. I then asked him if he's coming to perth/western australia and he says yes. :D Later we're in the train/subway. He's taken 3 seats to lie down and I'm beside him with is head on my lap and I place my hand on his face and he moves my head around cos I'm blocking his nose or something and then the train jerks and he asks if I'm okay. I can't remember anymore cos I woke up after that because someone outside was making noise. D:
It's such a wonderful dream. :D
Y Y Y
Saturday, January 08, 2011
I would very much like a massage right now. Thank you.
Y Y Y
Sunday, January 02, 2011
I took a look at your pictures and I realised the damage is ireversible. I'm sorry. It still feels awkward in me. Why does it act that way? I do not know.
Y Y Y
